So I’m eating breakfast when my son comes over with a very worried look; his plastic Jessie doll’s arm is broken off.
“mommy fix Jessie,” comes the pathetic plea.
“sweetie, I can’t. Its plastic;” I try to explain, “there’s no way I…”
“But mommy….I love her.”
And how can I refuse that? The boy plays dirty.
I found the crazy glue and attempted my best surgical reattachment.
Mommy to the rescue!
Me: I was watching the Ellen show from the Friday before the Oscars and? She started talking about the weird shows that are on that she didn’t know about. Sound familiar??? She be a thief.
Mr. Man: Um. what are you talking about?
Me: Okay rude. How about you support me and read my blog once in a while. I talked about the things I missed because of Elmo. And I talked about shows I missed -
Mr. Man: (interrupting me) Actually that is one I read and you did not talk about weird shows. You talked about a lot of other crap. And besides, she probably did see some weird shows and came up with that joke on her own. She is a comedian after all. So how about you drop it?
Me: No. I will not. She stole my joke!
Mr. Man: She did not steal your joke, cause one? That wasn’t a joke and two? She said nothing about Elmo or Kim Kardashians wedding.
Me: Well, babe. First? That was a joke. It was funny. Second? She is not gonna steal me word for word. She knows better. That would be plagiarizing. She stole the idea of the joke.
Mr. Man: (giving me a dead stare) You know what I think? I think you need help.
Me: She stole my bit baby.
Mr. Man: You’re bit? Do you even know what you’re talking about?
For the rest of the conversation click here.
“I’m a ninja”
“Ha and I am the queen of sheba”
“no seriously…I am”
“did you see me do that?”